Month: July 2015

God Puts Us Where He Wants Us

God puts us where He wants us.

As an RN, I round for a brilliant gastroenterolist one weekend per month. It’s amazing how many times I know why God put me there in that hospital on that day. Perhaps He put me there for one person—perhaps for more. But as I drive home, my heart is so full of gratitude when I know He’s used me to make a difference in other peoples’ lives.

After all, don’t we all pray that God would use us as a vessel? Don’t we want Him to use us to bless others?

But I didn’t want to work this weekend. Last Tuesday I injured my knee playing tennis and hobbled on it painfully for days. I tried to get someone else to cover this weekend. Everyone was busy. So God blessed me by a) healing my knee well enough for me to work on it, and b) using me to make a difference in one family’s life.

Back when I was an on-call nurse for hospice I sometimes resented my pager going off—especially if I had to leave church to respond to a call. Sometimes I fumed all the way to the patient’s house.

But something happened once I actually got there. I’d walk in to see pain and distress, the situation in chaos. And, because of my training and experience, I was in a position to bring them comfort. I knew what to do. When I left that house, I realized that I’m the one who received the blessing that day. No, I didn’t get to finish the worship service, but I did something else. I tended His flock.

You simply can’t out-give God. Even on the occasions when my utmost desire is to serve others, He finds a way to bless me by the experience, to leave me breathless with gratitude. It’s thrilling when God uses you to help someone else.

So this weekend, an elderly patient got some very bad news. Terminal cancer that had already spread. He and his family were still coming to grips with it. I was there to help at a moment when they needed just that! I won’t share the details but suffice it to say there was some rejoicing in God’s sovereignty. This man knew he wouldn’t die a moment before he was supposed to and told me he was ready any time the Lord called him home. They tearfully thanked me for my visit. I don’t know if they noticed the tears in my eyes, as well. No, I didn’t know them, but it’s amazing how we, as believers, are part of the same family in times like these.

My knee was really angry about me working this weekend. But I told it to stop its whining. I knew why I was supposed to be there. And that was far more important.

God put me where He wanted me. That’s enough for me.

 

Posted by Deborah Howard in Counseling, Days of My Life, End of Life Issues, Grief, Musings and Meditations, 1 comment

On Writing

Writers write.

I didn’t get that right away. When I was researching my first novel, someone asked me what I was doing. There I was, head down, taking copious notes while walking with a tour through Indian City, USA in Anadarko, OK. She probably thought I was mentally off by the time I shyly muttered, “I’m a writer–researching a new book.”

My friend nudged me teasingly, “Now was that so hard?” “Yes,” I answered. “It was!” I mean, at that time, I wasn’t a published author, so I felt a bit dishonest saying I was a writer. She told me, “Writers write. Do you write?” “Constantly,” I admitted. “Then you’re a writer,” she explained. “It’s about time you started believing that.”

So now I have five books published, and one to be released this year–and several more written, but not published yet. So why do I feel like a fraud when I tell people I’m a writer? For one thing, I’m not a famous writer, nor do I make enough money to support myself with writing, nor do I have any bestsellers to my credit. I want to be Jessica Fletcher—only without the frequent murders of all my best friends and acquaintances.

Yet, from my earliest memories I’ve been a writer. When I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade I started writing short stories and poetry. I served on the newspaper staff at school, and then on the creative writing staff. The writing never stopped as I studied creative writing in college. My head was so full of stories and ideas that I felt an urgency to get them out onto paper. Guess what! I still do. At this point, I believe I have at least another dozen books in my head—at various stages of “cooking.”

Writing is the loveliest form of expression to me. When speaking, I sometimes struggle to find the right words, or stumble over them once I do find them. Writing puts my thoughts where I can see them, edit them and approve of them before sending them out into the universe.

Frequently I advise people to write down their thoughts, goals and dreams. It’s cathartic, for one thing. My BFF and I journal to each other. She hears my thoughts and activities on a daily basis, and I hear hers. No one knows me better than she does. No one knows her better than I. Writing to her every day is therapeutic—getting it all out, venting, encouraging, praising, counseling, confessing, sharing my heart with her. She knows everything—the funny, sad, embarrassing and marvelous things, events and people that make up my life.

It’s hard to convince myself that anyone but her would ever care to read my ramblings. But I’m told they will. So come back and see how I’m doing. Join me as I seek to entertain, console, instruct, inform and encourage through this marvelous means of expression—WRITING!

Posted by Deborah Howard in On Writing, 3 comments