Month: June 2017

General George Armstrong Custer

General George Armstrong Custer

On a hot summer day, 141 years ago today (6-25-1876), General George Armstrong Custer lost a battle for the first time in his military career. He died in that battle—The Battle of Little Big Horn. In essence, his entire life is remembered in the context of the worst mistake he ever made.

He died at 36 years old, but oh, what a life he packed into that 36 years. He was raised in Michigan and Ohio. We know a few things about his life, his parents, his siblings. I won’t go into them here. He enrolled at West Point where he had the dubious distinction of having the most demerits in the history of the academy, and of graduating last in his class. This was not because he was dumb, but because he was not committed to the seriousness of his training at West Point. He engaged in all kinds of gags, practical jokes, drinking, brawling, and messing with women.  Few thought he’d even make it through his last year of school. He squeaked through by the skin of his teeth.

Then the war broke out, and young George was eager to fight for the Union cause. He approached battle like he was invincible, impervious to the bullets flying all around him.  He had more than one mount shot out from under him, only to grab another or engage in furious hand-to-hand combat.  He quickly rose in the ranks because of his outstanding courage in the line of duty. When others flagged around him, exhausted and beaten, he carried on with seemingly endless strength and energy, rallying them onward, winning every skirmish he participated in.

At the age of 23 years old, he became the youngest general in military history. News of his successes reached ever higher in the ranks of the Union—and Confederate—Armies. He became one of the Civil War’s most endearing heroes, and his flamboyant uniform (which he designed and embellished himself) and unflagging confidence ignited the imagination of the nation.

He was witnessed riding into battle with his reins in his teeth, firing his pistols left and right amid gunfire so heavy most took cover. But Custer fought like he was invincible. Later he said he never went into a battle without delivering himself into the Lord’s hands, knowing that whether he lived or died that day was in His hands.

And his horsemanship? His men said no one sat a horse like George A. Custer. It was sometimes difficult to tell where the horse ended and the man began, he was so at one with his mount. An animal lover since childhood, he especially loved his horses and his hounds, which he began to take with him as his fame and rank grew.

His wartime antics were not as successful in his career following the war. There was a huge difference between fighting men in the battles of the Civil War and fighting the best warriors on the continent—the plains Indians. He studied his enemy and developed more than a little respect for their ways. Yet no one carried out orders with the kind of eager relish Custer demonstrated in his post-war search and destroy missions to eradicate this nation of those “pesky” plains Indians, who stood in the way of the settlers’ spread toward the west and the completion of the Trans-continental Railway.

He loved the plains—being in the saddle to work, hunt, fight, to show off. He wanted to share his life with his darling wife, Libby, and brought her west where she could live in the relative safety of whatever fort he was stationed out of, and even sometimes on the plains, sharing a tent with her there beside him.

He was a controversial figure. Some would say he was one of the greatest men this nation has ever known. Some would call him a hero. A gentleman. Some would say he was one of the biggest fools this nation has ever tolerated. He frequently disregarded orders if he disagreed with them. He was arrogant, eccentric and pompous. He was a media hound who knew how to use publicity to further his own agenda.

Part of that agenda was the Presidency of the United States. Some say that on the nation’s centennial, 7-4-1876, he intended to announce his candidacy for that office, fresh from his latest victory on the field of battle—the Little Big Horn. This was to be his last battle, a final feather in his cap, the culmination of his military career. All he’d known was victory. Why would that day be any different?

Instead, he died. His whole company was cut down and butchered. Since then, we have heard the stories—from military leaders and soldiers of other companies, from Indians who witnessed the massacre, from forensic evidence on the field of battle and have pieced together most of what occurred that led to this gory assault.

And so, the world judges him, and knows him for this last, worst military decision of his life and his only defeat—and it now characterizes what this man stood for.

Was he a fool? Was he a hero? Was he a Christian? Was he a great man or a great villain? That depends on the book you’re reading on him at the time—he certainly gave ample evidence of both, and is one of the most polarizing figures in American history.

I would hate to think that my legacy was determined by the worst mistake of my life. In fairness to George Custer, I refuse to characterize his life and accomplishments by that criteria.

He lived for 36 years. He died 141 years ago today. And people still find him fascinating.

Posted by Deborah Howard in Miscellaneous, Musings and Meditations, 1 comment
Father’s Day

Father’s Day

Daddy is already dressed when I get to the nursing home. He wakes easily when I say, “Hi, Daddy.”  He grabs my hand and holds it to his cheek and says, “Oh, my sweet daughter.  I love you!”

I say, “I love you, too. Wanna get up and go have a snack?”

“Do I want to have a snack,” he repeats (because he repeats just about everything I say to him). “Yes, let’s go have a snack.”

I take him to the bathroom first, because he always has to pee. It’s amazing to me that this man, who has forgotten just about everything in his life, is still continent. He may not remember much, but he knows when he needs to go.

I show him where the sink is so he can wash his hands and hand him a paper towel to dry them. He tosses it in the corner wastebasket—also an amazing feat for someone who is legally blind.

I put him in his wheelchair and say, “Here, I’ll give you a free ride.”

“You’re going to give me a free ride? Aren’t you something!  You’re so special.”

“You’re special, too, Daddy,” I say.

I wheel him to the day room and park him at a table. I know where the stash of fig bars is kept, so I get him one and a glass of apple juice.

“Oh, good old cold apple juice,” he says. “Hits the spot.”

He gobbles up his fig bar and drinks two more glasses (which I don’t mind since he struggles with constipation and apple juice just might help him go).

His gaze turns to the window and he looks at the world outside the nursing home, which he rarely sees anymore. His expression is pensive as he stares out the window.

“What’s on your mind, Daddy?”

“Gosh at the traffic,” he says.

“Daddy, are you healthy and happy?” This is the question I ask on every visit.

“Healthy and happy,” he repeats. “Yes, I’m healthy and happy.”

He continues to look outside, humming his happy tune.

“Gosh at the traffic.”

I realize, once again, that my dad lives only in the present. He doesn’t worry about the future. He knows he’ll be fed.  He knows someone will take him to the bathroom. He knows he has a “good ole bed” to sleep in (and puts it to good use, since sleeping is his favorite activity).  He doesn’t know where it is or how to get there, but he knows someone will get him there eventually.

He sits there, humming a happy tune (the same one he’s been humming for almost two years), and looking outside at the traffic.

I wonder if he’s not more fortunate than we realize. He’s healthy and happy, kind to his visitors, enjoys the simple pleasures of the sunlight on the passing traffic outside, and sings his happy tune. Doesn’t worry about a thing.

I think we could take a lesson from my sweet father, so afflicted with dementia that he’s able to recognize hardly anyone these days, couldn’t troubleshoot anything to save his life, can’t dress himself without help, remembers almost nothing about his past, and most of the time admits that his mind is a complete blank. He doesn’t know where he is. He doesn’t know how old he is. He doesn’t know how pitiful his once brilliant mind is now. But he knows he’s going to be taken care of and he’s happy just knowing that.

Why can’t I be more like my father? I know I’ll be taken care of, too. My heavenly Father will provide for all my needs.  Daddy wants for nothing. That’s how I should be. Satisfied with what the Father gives to me so graciously.

My father has been my hero for all my life. And now, as I become a member of the senior set myself, I recognize that he’s still teaching me important stuff about life.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy.

Posted by Deborah Howard in Days of My Life, Dementia, End of Life Issues, Grief, Musings and Meditations, 2 comments