Counseling

We’ve been covering some of the Psalms of Ascent in our Sunday School class. The Psalms of Ascent are Ps 120-134. Though we’re not told what this tiny subscript under each heading of these psalms means, it is generally understood that these are psalms sung as travelers made their way up to Jerusalem.

One of the commonalities is the theme of trust in the Lord. I’ve written a lot about trust and that subject has been on my mind lately. In his book, Longing for HOME: A Journey through the Psalms of Ascent, J. Stephen Yuille says, “to trust in God is to rest in who he is,” (pg 66). I believe that’s a fitting bottom line.

Our trust in Him doesn’t depend on our ability to hold on. If it did, we would fail every time. We trust imperfectly. Yet we are to continue striving for complete trust in Him. Spurgeon wrote that the sovereignty of God is the pillow on which we rest our heads. The better we comprehend His character and attributes, the more fully we can rest in who He is.

Instead of our faith and security depending on our tentative hold on our Savior, we can “rest” knowing that He holds us instead. Psalm 63:8 says, “My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” Therefore, the reason we can rest in our security in Him, no matter what our earthly circumstances may be, is because His righteous right hand holds onto us!! That grip will never falter.

Let me close by quoting my favorite of these Psalms of Ascents. Psalm 121:

“I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

My help comes from the LORD,

Who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;

He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, he who keeps Israel

Will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;

The LORD is your shade on your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.

The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in

from this time forth and forevermore.”

So, regarding my own heart, I cry out, “Lord, equip me with the kind of faith and belief and trust in You which will allow me to rest in Your perfect sovereignty. When my head hits the pillow at night, let me close my eyes in the peace that comes from loving You.”

Wrapping your mind around suicide. How can one do that? It’s senseless. Selfish. Cruel. Needless. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. So many words and phrases come to mind when trying to understand the mind and motives of a friend or loved one who commits such an unbelievable act.

I’m reeling from the news that a dear friend died in such a way a couple of months ago. I’m just now hearing this, so my grief is fresh and pierces my heart with sorrow—and yes, some anger, as well.

He’s been on antidepressants for years. Lately he started drinking more and more heavily. Alcohol + antidepressants is a terrible combination and the literature clearly states that if you’re on an antidepressant, you must avoid alcohol. Too few people read the literature, though. Too few know what a dangerous combination this is.

My friend was so drunk one night that his anger and emotion tangled with his ability to think rationally, and he took his life in a moment of time when he could think of no other way out of his pain and fear. I truly don’t think he could have/would have done this when in his right mind.

When he pulled that trigger, he set into play a cascade of consequences—none of them good. His family, his friends—so many friends—were plunged into grief that has no words, only disbelief and pain too intense to describe.

Another consequence is the “if only” syndrome. If only I’d known he was so disturbed. If only he had called me, had given me the chance to talk to him. If only I’d stayed in closer touch with him. If only . . . 

In my book, Sunsets: Reflections for Life’s Final Journey, I quoted Erwin Lutzer, who wrote, “Let me encourage you to take those ‘if onlys’ and draw a circle around them. Then label the circle, ‘The providence of God.’ The Christian believes that God is greater than our ‘if onlys.’ His providential hand encompasses the whole of our lives, not just the good days, but the ‘bad’ days too. We have the word accident in our vocabulary; He does not.”

In the chapter on death, I wrote about suicide. “A moment of thoughtlessness leaves loved ones struggling with anguish, confusion, guilt, and pain. Suicide is the ultimate selfishness.” I still believe that.

I know some people suffer unbelievable pain—physical or emotional—that I cannot truly fathom. But, if you are toying with suicidal thinking, please talk to someone—anyone!! Call a pastor, trusted friend, or suicide prevention hotline (800-273-8255).

Whatever you’re dealing with can be resolved. Tomorrow things may change! A month from now the whole problem could be a thing of the past! A year from now, you may not even remember today’s dilemmas. There are always better options than suicide.

Please, choose life!

God puts us where He wants us.

As an RN, I round for a brilliant gastroenterolist one weekend per month. It’s amazing how many times I know why God put me there in that hospital on that day. Perhaps He put me there for one person—perhaps for more. But as I drive home, my heart is so full of gratitude when I know He’s used me to make a difference in other peoples’ lives.

After all, don’t we all pray that God would use us as a vessel? Don’t we want Him to use us to bless others?

But I didn’t want to work this weekend. Last Tuesday I injured my knee playing tennis and hobbled on it painfully for days. I tried to get someone else to cover this weekend. Everyone was busy. So God blessed me by a) healing my knee well enough for me to work on it, and b) using me to make a difference in one family’s life.

Back when I was an on-call nurse for hospice I sometimes resented my pager going off—especially if I had to leave church to respond to a call. Sometimes I fumed all the way to the patient’s house.

But something happened once I actually got there. I’d walk in to see pain and distress, the situation in chaos. And, because of my training and experience, I was in a position to bring them comfort. I knew what to do. When I left that house, I realized that I’m the one who received the blessing that day. No, I didn’t get to finish the worship service, but I did something else. I tended His flock.

You simply can’t out-give God. Even on the occasions when my utmost desire is to serve others, He finds a way to bless me by the experience, to leave me breathless with gratitude. It’s thrilling when God uses you to help someone else.

So this weekend, an elderly patient got some very bad news. Terminal cancer that had already spread. He and his family were still coming to grips with it. I was there to help at a moment when they needed just that! I won’t share the details but suffice it to say there was some rejoicing in God’s sovereignty. This man knew he wouldn’t die a moment before he was supposed to and told me he was ready any time the Lord called him home. They tearfully thanked me for my visit. I don’t know if they noticed the tears in my eyes, as well. No, I didn’t know them, but it’s amazing how we, as believers, are part of the same family in times like these.

My knee was really angry about me working this weekend. But I told it to stop its whining. I knew why I was supposed to be there. And that was far more important.

God put me where He wanted me. That’s enough for me.